I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
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