I want to have your abortion
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i wish my penis had a tongue
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
