he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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