if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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