you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
