i think my tv is drunk
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
