The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
