Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize