I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize