So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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