go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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