No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
