Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
