Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
