seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
