I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
