I wanna bring you to show and tell
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
