I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
