somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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