when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
