i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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