Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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