If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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