You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
