Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Randomize
