yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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