my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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