I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
just tell him i said nine months
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
