seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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