VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Randomize