the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
