i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
