she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Two words: nipple clamps
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