wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
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