I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
as a side note pls kill me
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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