You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
