If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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