when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
