Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize