Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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