I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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