guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
