you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
