Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
