A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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