the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
