I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize