worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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