i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
When did angry sex become our thing?
I want to be your penis for a week.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
