how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
