i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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