wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
