it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
