I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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