doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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