Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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