Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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