i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
