Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
no you cant smoke seaweed
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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