Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
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