I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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