WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
