Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
